Doubt and the Adventurer

Yesterday was a very unusual day for me. It is the type of day that happens every few years. I was feeling down, out of sorts and homesick, even teary eyed.  Every Christmas song and golden oldie on the radio made me think of mum and how I love and miss her so much. For a fleeting moment I even contemplated dropping all my commitments in Las Vegas and jumping on a Qantas jet and going home to Oz.  I wasn’t interested in talking to anyone and when I did, I said it as I saw it rather than my usual tactful upbeat manner.  I even left a photo shoot workshop after only an hour which is very odd.  Driving home, my subconscious was so preoccupied that I didn’t even have the energy to get upset with the night road works causing me to sit in traffic for 30 minutes. 

I just couldn’t make sense of it.  I should be happy and excited. I had worked very hard over the past couple of months to launch Bunker’s Cobra Culture Fashion label, photographed 11 tastefully semi-nude women for an Over 40 and Fabulous coffee table book, put together the launch for a fashion show to be held in Las Vegas in January, travelled to Paris France and managed to get my Outlook intray down to 7 emails.  I even sorted out my 3 year battle with Telstra (Australia’s largest telecom company).  So why was I feeling so down and thoughts of walking along the beach with mum running through my mind in an endless loop?

I went to bed thinking about why and woke up with the answer.  Don’t you love it when this happens.

 The answer is FEAR.

I had finally cleared the deck, followed through on all my commitments to other people and even filed my tax return. All of a sudden I had to step up to the plate and work on my own projects.  I had no more road blocks and my subconscious started shaking in its boots and figured the only way out was to make me feel sad and blue and run away.


Now that I know that it was my subconscious fearful of the next major steps in my lifelong passion to help people feel good about themselves and live younger longer I was back in ACTION.

Knowing the cause allows you to find a solution and the solution to FEAR is ACTION.

I’m back and I am excited.

One Response to “Doubt and the Adventurer”
  1. Bunker says:

    Go get ’em….It is always harder to solve your own problems and analyse your own issues….than it is to do for someone else, but you have done it again!

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